Moja ocjena: 5 / 5
Goodreads ocjena: 3,99 / 5
Izdavač: FOKUS
Ovom bih snažnom rečenicom htjela započeti novu objavu. Ima dosta istine, to mogu priznati. Makar... tog sam učenja kako obje obitelji sami odabiremo - kako bismo nešto novo naučili, a što prethodno nismo imali priliku te stekli nova iskustva. Jednu obitelj odabiremo prilikom dolaska na svijet, dok drugu dobivamo spletom okolnosti odnosno odabirom osobe s kojom želimo provesti svoj život. Samo što s tom osobom, u paketu dobivate i njegovu/njezinu obitelj.
Svekrva je jedna snažna priča, prepuna tajni i prevrata. Prepuna žalosti i boli, nerazumijevanja i manjka komunikacije, ali i potpune jasnoće u trenucima rasplitanja klupka tajni. Ovo je jedna drugačija priča, jedna od onih koja ostavlja trag na čitatelju i neizmjerno sam zahvalna prijateljici Danijeli, koja me potaknula da ju pročitam.
Ovdje se ne radi o tipičnoj netoleranciji između snahe i svekrve. Istina, bilo je dosta trzavica i sukoba između te dvije ličnosti, ali i međusobnog poštivanja te (čak) povremenog razumijevanja. I koliko god mi neki segmenti priče nisu bili jasni, toliko mi je, sa daljnjim tokom priče, postajala ta slika njihova odnosa sve čišća i razumljivija.
Dianu, odnosno gospođu svekrvu, sam smatrala krajnje bezosjećajnom osobom, krutom i s potpunim manjkom empatije za svoju obitelj.
Njezin je moto taj da se njezina djeca (u priči imaju 40+ godina) trebaju sama potruditi kako bi u životu nešto ostvarila i stekla. Naime, Diana i suprug Tom, tokom godina su skupili pozamašno bogatstvo te mogu svojoj djeci omogućiti što god požele. Samo što se to ne događa zbog Dianinog krutog odbijanja u svakoj situaciji tijekom koje se spomene pozajmica ili novac za nešto.
S druge strane, Diana svoje slobodno vrijeme provodi boraveći među doseljenicima iz siromašnih kutaka svijeta, vodi humanitarnu zakladu te dijeli novac kako bi im priskrbila krov nad glavom, omogućila zaposlenje te brine o obrazovanju njihove djece.
Kako ne biste stekli krivu predodžbu o Diani, moram vam pokazati i drugu stranu kovanice. Naime, Diana ima mračnu prošlost, ali više ispunjenu tugom nego grijesima. U svojim je mlađim danima bila gladna, ostavljena, na hladnom i sa djetetom u naručju. Sve dok nije upoznala Toma, koji joj je pružio sve što je mogao kako bi imali pristojan život. Ona je karakterna i snažna žena. Žena sa stavom. Diana je gorda.
Ona je netko tko je u životu okusio dno, ali se uspješno popeo na vrh i ostao čovjekom.
S druge strane, priča nam donosi snahu Lucy. Ona od prvog trenutka osjeća kako ju njezina svekrva ne voli i ne želi blizu.
Pokušava joj se svidjeti i ugoditi joj, natjerati da se bolje upoznaju. I taman što osjeti kako prodire kroz tu ledenu ljušturu, Diana povuče potez kojim Lucy ponovno ispada iz igre.
A tada opet, u trenucima rođenja prvog djeteta, Diana je ta koja joj dolazi pomoći, počistiti i skuhati - na Lucyinu molbu. I to ne samo jednom...
Lucy je tipična snaha. Želi biti prihvaćena. Želi da ju se uvažava, ali i poštuje u ulozi supruge i majke. Želi da Diana shvati kako je i ona osoba od krvi i mesa te kako se treba naučiti nečemu s čime je, kako se to prezentira, Diana rođena. A opet, Lucy je ta koja uvijek za Dianu ima razumijevanja te joj čini podršku u najtežim životnim trenucima.
Koliko god se izvana međusobno ne podnosile, Diana i Lucy su savršen spoj u izoliranim životnim trenucima gdje je bilo naprosto nužno koegzistirati. I obje su to poštovale. I obje su dale sve od sebe da, u takvim trenucima, svaki korak bude zadovoljen.
I što se jednog dana dogodi, samo što Lucy počinje osjećati napredak pri osvajanju svekrvina srca? Diana nestaje iz njihovih života... zauvijek...
Knjiga je pisana na dosta zanimljiv način, ispreplićući sadašnjost i prošlost prikazane kroz oči svekrve i snahe. Ista priča ispričana kroz oči obje žene, dvije perspektive savršeno isprepletene u savršenu liniju toka misli. I ne radi se o napornom skakanju između različitih vremenskih perioda i potpuno različitih osoba, već se stvara tolika harmonija prijelaza da u čitatelju ne budi osjećaje nelagode. Mogu reći, unatoč tematici, kako sam uživala čitajući i kako vam od srca mogu preporučiti da ju i sami pročitate.
Prije nego zaključim, moram vas usmjeriti na citat u nastavku. Čitajući ga, potpuno su me obuzeli osjećaji - ljubavi, razumijevanja i shvaćanja kako su i naše svekrve nekoć bile mlade. I one su se tražile, učile kako biti dobrom suprugom i majkom, ali i ženom sa željama i potrebama. Tako da trebamo i mi, snahe, shvatiti kako su naše svekrve isto osobe od krvi i mesa. Povremeno ih ne razumijemo i ne znamo kako im pristupiti, ali ipak imamo još nekoga uza sebe, na koga možemo računati.
Hvala mojoj mami, koja mi je pomogla predstaviti vam ovu knjigu. Ona se tek uhodava u ulogu svekrve, ali vjerujem kako joj bivanje dobrom svekrvom ne predstavlja nešto loše i teško, već joj daje mogućnost da sagleda sebe na način i kroz oči koje su nju nekoć promatrale kao snahu.
Do iduće objave,
Voli vas vaša Goga
My rating: 5 / 5
Goodreads rating: 3.99 / 5
Publisher: FOKUS
The mother-in-law is a powerful story, full of secrets and turnovers. Full of sorrow and pain, misunderstanding and lack of communication, but also complete clarity in the moments of untangling the tangle of secrets. This is a different story, one of those that leaves a mark on the reader, and I am immensely grateful to my friend Danijela, who encouraged me to read it.
This is not the typical intolerance between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. True, there were a lot of frictions and conflicts between these two personalities, but also mutual respect and (even) occasional understanding. And as much as some segments of the story were not clear to me, as the story progressed, the picture of their relationship became more and more clear and comprehensible.
I considered Diana, that is, the mother-in-law, to be an extremely insensitive person, rigid and with a complete lack of empathy for her family.
Her motto is that her children (in the story they are 40+ years old) should make an effort on their own in order to achieve and gain something in life.
Namely, Diana and her husband Tom have accumulated considerable wealth over the years and can give their children whatever they want. Only it doesn't happen because of Diana's rigid refusal in any situation during which a loan or money for something is mentioned.
On the other hand, Diana spends her free time staying among immigrants from poor corners of the world, runs a humanitarian foundation and distributes money to provide them with a roof over their heads, provide employment and take care of their children's education.
So that you don't get the wrong idea about Diana, I have to show you the other side of the coin. Namely, Diana has a dark past, but more filled with sadness than sins. In her younger days, she was hungry, abandoned, in the cold and with a child in her arms. Until she met Tom, who gave her everything he could to have a decent life. She is a characterful and strong woman. A woman with attitude. Diana is proud.
She is someone who has tasted the bottom in life, but successfully climbed to the top and remained human.
On the other hand, the story brings us daughter-in-law Lucy. She feels from the first moment that her mother-in-law does not love her and does not want her close.
She tries to like her and please her, to make them get to know each other better. And just as she feels herself breaking through that icy shell, Diana pulls a move that knocks Lucy out of the game again.
And then again, in the moments of the birth of the first child, it is Diana who comes to help her, clean and cook - at Lucy's request. And not just once...
Lucy is a typical daughter-in-law. She wants to be accepted. She wants to be respected, but also respected in her role as a wife and mother.
She wants Diana to understand that she is also a person of flesh and blood and that she needs to learn something that, as it is presented, Diana was born with.
And again, it is Lucy who always understands Diana and supports her in the most difficult moments of her life.
As much as they can't stand each other on the outside, Diana and Lucy are a perfect match in isolated life moments where it was simply necessary to coexist. And both respected it. And both did their best to ensure that, in such moments, every step was satisfied.
And what happens one day, just as Lucy begins to feel progress in winning her mother-in-law's heart? Diana disappears from their lives... forever...
The book is written in a very interesting way, intertwining the present and the past shown through the eyes of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The same story told through the eyes of both women, two perspectives perfectly intertwined in a perfect line of thought. And it's not about laborious jumping between different time periods and completely different people, but such a harmony of transitions is created that the reader does not feel uncomfortable. I can say, despite the subject matter, that I enjoyed reading it and that I can wholeheartedly recommend that you read it yourself.
Reading it, I was completely overwhelmed by feelings - love and understanding that our mothers-in-law were also young once. They too sought each other out, learned how to be a good wife and mother, but also a woman with desires and needs. So we, daughters-in-law, need to understand that our mothers-in-law are also made out of flesh and blood. Sometimes we don't understand them and we don't know how to approach them, but we still have someone by our side, on whom we can count on.
At the end, I would like to thank my mom, who helped me present this book to you. She is just getting used to the role of being a mother-in-law, but I believe that being a good mother-in-law does not represent something bad and difficult for her, but gives her the opportunity to look at herself in the way and through the eyes that once looked at her as a daughter-in-law.
Until the next post,
Your Goga loves you!
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